You mattered. You still do.

I have cried every day since we lost our baby. I don’t think most people understand and in my case, I don’t think anyone even knows. I’m the strong one. The one putting on a brave face as I helped with a coworkers baby shower. Oh, I’ve become an expert at hiding the pain. But, I still miss my baby every day.

Some people said to me after my loss, “There will be other babies.” They didn’t mean any harm and I know that they were trying to help, but please never say this to someone who has just lost a baby. I know there will be other babies. Or at least I hope and pray that there will be. But I can never replace that baby. He was a uniquely created by God individual. Irreplaceable. And I miss him. When I cry, I’m crying because I long for that baby. Not just a baby.

Yet the world goes on as though I’ve not really lost as though he never really was. But I know that’s not true. God assures me through His Word that that just isn’t so. But it does hurt sometimes to think that we are the only ones on earth that remember our sweet baby. There is no memorial, no headstone that bears his name. There is only the memory that I have of our time together and the promise that we will be together again one day.

My dearest little one, you mattered on earth. You still do.